Abortion isn’t murdering It's just cancelling your pre-order.
What do you call an abortion in Prague? A cancelled Czech
Abortion really does make you playful. After all, it does bring out your inner child.
Where did the cactus go for an abortion? Plant Parenthood.
Dad, what are your thoughts on abortion? Ask your sister.
The abortion clinic did not know what to do. They were Unplanned Parenthood.
Was going to make a joke about childbirth... But it's hard to deliver
When my wife was in labour, I tried to distract her by telling terrible jokes, but it didn’t work.
I’m thinking about throwing a space-themed party, but I'm not sure how to plan it.
My family told me to stop saying dead baby jokes I had to Abort
I wrote this joke about abortion. I don't think I'm gonna keep it.
Why is working at the abortion clinic so much fun? They bring out the kid in you.
My GF asked me if u knew what abortion is And I said no baby
Abortion isn't murdering It's cancelling a pre-order
What do you call a failed abortion? Survival of the fetus
Abortions are for... Abortions are for the anti-vaxxer who don't waste time.
Mom: Are you pro-life or pro-abortion? Me: Mom imPro-statute.
What do gamers call an abortion? A spawn kill.
What do you call an abortion in the Czech Republic? .. a cancelled check.
What’s the difference between an abortion and a belly flop off the high dive? The price
What are your views on abortion? Me: It really brings out the kid in you.
What do get when you cross an Imperial cruiser with an abortion clinic? A Stork Destroyer
The best thing about being an abortion doctor You don't have to buy dog food
Abortion is now illegal So... I guess I’m an anti-vax parent
What do you call a Spanish abortion? Adios embryos
Abortion clinics really don't get the credit they deserve. I mean, they're killing it out there.
[NSFW] What did they name the new abortion clinic? Ctrl+Z
What happens when you abort an abortion? Me
My mom's sister is Anti-abortion It’s a bit of a cruel nickname but she has had 5 of them.
What is it called when you screw a girl that's had 10 abortions? A graveyard smash.
Doctors in china don't ask if you want an abortion They just ask if you want takeout or delivery
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? You can unscrew a light bulb
What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew a lightbulb.
How are dad jokes and cask cleaners similar? They both end up scraping the bottom of the barrel.
President Trump wants to abolish and reverse all the pro-choice movements that have been made.
What do an eraser company and an abortion clinic have in common? They both make money on your mistakes.
The decision to get an abortion is a hard one to make you don't want to make it on an empty stomach
Abortion is like a double-edged sword for me I like the idea of killing babies but I don't like the idea of giving women a choice
My wife didn’t want to get an abortion but I did So we met in the middle and sent him to school in America
Why are Catholics so anti-abortion? So they have a good supply of young children in their foster homes for the priests.
The abortion clinic in Prague had to be closed down due to lack of funds... too many cancelled Czechs apparently.
My girlfriend told me she wanted to get an abortion and asked me to give her $50 to help pay for it.
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except for Abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
What's worse than getting your car keys stuck in the lock outside an abortion clinic? Having to go back inside and ask for a coathanger.
I have the worst parents ever. I asked them how they felt about abortion, and they told me to ask my sister.
My wife is pregnant, but I want her to have an abortion That way, she'll finally be the one who gets the life sucked out of her
I locked myself out of my car next to an abortion clinic... It was really awkward asking them for a hanger
My opinion on abortion is kinda complicated. I'm all for killing children, but I can't stand giving women rights.
A person asked me, "Aren't you the guy who brags about weird stuff?" I replied, "No, I'm the guy who takes the longest baths in the city".